Category Archives: Stress Management

Movie Magic & Mental Health: Surprising Ways Movies Make Us Feel Good

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I’ve always been fascinated by the magic of movies! You know how life can sometimes feel like a roller-coaster with all its stress and uncertainty? Then you go to a movie or watch one of your favorites on TV and suddenly you’re whisked away to these incredible worlds where anything is possible. Like, remember those breathtaking scenes in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000), or the old-timey charm of Casablanca (1943)? They’re like a mini-vacation for your mind, giving you a break from the daily grind. It’s pretty cool when you think about it!

But movies aren’t just about escaping reality; they can be like little treasure troves of wisdom. You know how we always talk about learning from experiences? Well, some movies can be like crash courses in life lessons. In my book Blockbuster Love: Lessons from the Movies on How to Create Lasting Love, I explore how the themes and lessons found in film can enrich our relationships and enhance our well-being. Whether it’s picking up relationship tips (do’s and don’ts) from a rom-com or feeling inspired by characters overcoming obstacles, there’s always something to take away. Movies can shift our perspectives and help us find meaning and inspiration in our own lives.

And to add to this—movies are emotional powerhouses! They can make you laugh, cry, and everything in between. When we connect with those characters on screen, it’s like we’re tapping into our feelings, which is pretty therapeutic if you ask me. Having a good cry during a sad movie is like hitting the emotional reset button. Our tears release pain and stress and help regulate our nervous system. That’s why we can feel so much better after a good cry.

When we feel empathetic during a movie, it’s like we’re practicing for real-life situations. We become better at understanding how others might feel or what they might be going through. And that’s gold for relationships. I mean, think about it—when you can really get where others are coming from, it’s unifying— like you’re speaking the same language.

But here’s the real kicker: movies have this amazing ability to shine a light on mental health issues without making it feel heavy or scary. Seeing characters dealing with their own struggles is like a reminder that we’re not alone in this journey, and it’s okay to ask for help when we need it.

Movies don’t just make us feel good; they make us want to do good too. Ever watched a film where the underdog comes out on top, and you’re suddenly feeling all inspired? Yeah, that’s the magic of movies pushing us to be our best selves. And when we watch great movies with friends, we not only feel all warm and fuzzy inside but we build bonds and community, and that sense of connection is priceless.

From providing an escape from day-to-day stress to encouraging empathy, inspiring hope, or having a good cry, movies have the power to uplift and help with healing in surprisingly creative ways. So the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed or in need of a pick-me-up, consider watching your favorite film—it just might be the magic your heart and mind need.

Navigating Relationship Trauma: Healing for Valentine’s Day and Beyond

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As Valentine’s Day approaches, the air fills with love and affection. However, for many individuals, this time of year can be a painful reminder of past relationship trauma or current relationship distress. Whether stemming from heartbreak, betrayal, or abuse, the scars of such experiences can linger, affecting one’s ability to trust, love, and connect with others. In this blog post, we delve into the complexities of relationship trauma, explore its impact, and discuss strategies for healing, just in time to show yourself some love for Valentine’s Day.

Understanding Relationship Trauma: Relationship trauma encompasses a broad range of experiences that leave lasting emotional wounds. It can result from various forms of mistreatment, including infidelity, abandonment, emotional neglect, or even physical or verbal abuse. Such traumas can profoundly impact an individual’s sense of self-worth, security, and ability to form healthy relationships in the future.

Impact of Relationship Trauma: The effects of relationship trauma can be far-reaching, manifesting in a myriad of ways. Some individuals may struggle with trust issues, constantly fearing betrayal or abandonment by their partners. Others may experience difficulty in expressing their emotions or forming intimate connections, keeping others at arm’s length to avoid further hurt. Additionally, unresolved trauma can contribute to anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges, further complicating one’s ability to engage in fulfilling relationships.

Healing from Relationship Trauma: While the road to healing from relationship trauma may be long and challenging, it is possible with patience, self-compassion, and support. Here are some strategies to consider:

  1. Therapy: Seeking guidance from a qualified therapist can provide a safe space to process past experiences, explore underlying emotions, and learn healthy coping mechanisms.
  2. Self-care: Prioritize self-care activities that nurture your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This may include exercise, meditation, journaling, or engaging in hobbies that bring joy and fulfillment.
  3. Establish boundaries: Learn to identify and assert healthy boundaries in your relationships, setting clear expectations for how you deserve to be treated and what behavior is unacceptable.
  4. Practice forgiveness: While forgiveness does not mean excusing or forgetting past wrongs, it can free you from the burden of carrying resentment and anger. Forgiving others, and yourself is a crucial step towards releasing the grip of relationship trauma.
  5. Cultivate self-love: Focus on building a positive relationship with yourself, embracing your strengths, flaws, and worthiness of love and happiness.

Valentine’s Day and Healing: As Valentine’s Day approaches, those healing from relationship trauma may feel a mix of emotions – longing for love, dread of past pain, or perhaps indifference towards the holiday altogether. Regardless of where you fall on this spectrum, remember that Valentine’s Day is just a day. And like any other day, it’s what you make it and can serve as an opportunity for self-reflection, growth, and self-love.

Instead of focusing solely on romantic gestures or external validation, use this time to honor your journey toward healing and self-discovery. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion, celebrate your progress, and surround yourself with supportive loved ones who uplift and affirm your worth.

Although relationship trauma can cast a long shadow over one’s life, affecting relationships and overall well-being, please know that with time, effort, and support, healing is possible. As Valentine’s Day approaches, take this opportunity to prioritize your healing journey, cultivate self-love, and embrace the possibility of healthier, more fulfilling relationships in the future. Remember, you are deserving of love, respect, and happiness, on Valentine’s Day and every day.

Unmasking Ghosts: How to Banish Resentments and Reclaim Joy

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Today is Halloween and as I look at all the creative costumes on parade, my thoughts reflect on my first costume as a child. I’m probably dating myself, but it was Casper the Friendly Ghost. That was a long time ago, but this time of year our thoughts tend to turn to ghosts and ghouls that haunt the night for trick or treat. However, there’s a different kind of ghost that can linger in our lives that’s not so friendly but can be creative in the stories it weaves. These phantoms go about stealing our joy and casting a shadow over our present—these are the ghosts of past resentments. Much like the eerie specters that haunt old mansions, these resentments can be elusive, persistent, and downright spooky. So let’s explore how to exorcise these ghosts from our lives and embrace the light of joy. Here are some tips:

  1. Identify the Ghosts: Just as ghost hunters use special tools to detect paranormal activity, we can equip ourselves to identify the resentments that lurk in the shadows of our minds. Reflect on past experiences that still evoke negative emotions. Are there unresolved conflicts or lingering grudges? These are the ghosts that need to be confronted.
  2. Shine Light on the Shadows: Ghosts thrive in darkness, and so do resentments. It’s time to shine a light on these hidden emotions. Acknowledge the pain and hurt, and allow yourself to feel those emotions without judgment. Bringing them into the light lessens their power over your psyche.
  3. Confront the Ghosts: Ghosts lose their potency when confronted head-on. Similarly, facing your resentments is crucial for letting go. If possible, communicate your feelings with the person involved or seek closure within yourself. Confrontation doesn’t always mean direct interaction; it can also be a personal acknowledgment and acceptance.
  4. Use Ghost-busting Techniques: Employ ghost-busting techniques to banish these lingering spirits. Practice forgiveness, not for the benefit of others, but for your own peace of mind. Visualize releasing the resentment like releasing a ghost from a haunted house. Engage in mindfulness, meditation, or faith-building practices to create mental space for positivity and peace.
  5. Build a Protective Barrier: Once you’ve cleared your mental space, it’s essential to build a protective barrier against future haunting. Establish healthy boundaries in your relationships and learn to let go of minor grievances. Focus on the present moment rather than dwelling on past grievances.
  6. Create a Joyful Séance: Just as a séance is a gathering to communicate with spirits, create a positive gathering in your life to commune with the living. Surround yourself with supportive friends, engage in activities that bring you joy, and foster a sense of gratitude. Joyful experiences act as a shield against the ghosts of resentment.

Whether you celebrate Halloween or not, don’t let the ghosts of past resentments continue to haunt your present. Embrace the ghost-busting techniques, confront the shadows, and create a protective barrier against future haunting. By releasing these specters, you’ll discover a newfound sense of lightness and joy in your life. As the ghosts fade away, you’ll be free to enjoy the festivities of life without the chains of resentment weighing you down. And if you need a little more help, don’t be afraid to reach out to a licensed therapist for additional support or guidance. Be safe, and may your days be filled with joy!

Top 5 Tips for Balancing Goal-Setting and Your Mental Health

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It’s a new year! And, if you’re like many people, you might be reflecting on 2022 and setting new resolutions and goals for 2023. Interestingly, the practice of making resolutions dates back to ancient times, when people would make vows to the gods at the start of the new year to bring good fortune in the year ahead. Now, it’s become common practice to make promises to ourselves or set goals at the beginning of a new year to improve some aspect of our lives.

While this can be a great way to make positive changes in your life, it’s important to approach goal-setting in a way that is healthy and sustainable. This is especially true when it comes to our mental health, which can be deeply affected by the way we set and pursue our goals.

One of the keys to successful goal-setting is to make sure your goals are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. This helps to ensure that your goals are clear and achievable, rather than vague or unrealistic. It can also be helpful to break larger goals down into smaller, more manageable steps. Focusing on one day at a time, one task, and one moment instead of looking at the whole year also helps to make achieving your goals more enjoyable and less overwhelming.

However, it’s important not to get so caught up in the pursuit of achieving the goals that you lose sight of the lessons in the process. It’s okay to make mistakes or have setbacks along the way. What we may preserve as a mistake or setback can be a valuable opportunity to learn and grow. It’s important to be kind to yourself and recognize that progress takes time. Remember to celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem, and take breaks when needed.

It’s also important to prioritize your mental health when setting goals. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious, it may be helpful to take a step back and reassess your goals. It’s okay to adjust your goals, practice relaxation, and perhaps speak with a therapist. It’s important to remember that self-care is a crucial part of achieving your goals and maintaining good mental health.

There are many different ways to prioritize your mental health when setting goals. Some strategies include:

  • Setting goals that align with your values and priorities
  • Being realistic about what you can achieve and how much time it will take
  • Setting aside time for relaxation and self-care
  • Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist
  • Being flexible and willing to adjust your goals as needed

It’s no doubt that goal-setting can be a powerful tool for making positive changes in your life. Prioritizing your mental health is key to achieving your goals and living a fulfilling life. Remember to be kind to yourself, set specific and achievable goals, and prioritize self-care and relaxation. And if you need additional support from a mental health professional I’m here to help. Just give my office a call at 818-806-9170. With these strategies, you are well on your way to setting and achieving your goals while also taking care of your mental well-being. May you have a happy and healthy New Year!

5 Tips For Managing Stress During The Holidays

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It’s the holiday season and traditionally this time of year is thought to be one of joy and celebration. However, for many people, it can also be a source of stress. Between shopping for gifts, attending parties, and dealing with family dynamics, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. However, there are things you can do to manage your stress during the holidays and make this time of year more enjoyable.

One of the most important things you can do to manage stress during the holidays is to set realistic expectations for yourself. This means not trying to do too much in too little time and being okay with saying no to invitations or tasks that are not a priority. It’s also important to be mindful of your budget and not overspend. Debt and financial concerns are major contributors to holiday stress.

Another key to managing stress during the holidays is to make time for self-care. This can include activities like exercising, meditating, or simply taking a few minutes to relax and unwind. It’s also important to get enough sleep, eat healthily, and make sure you have enough downtime to recharge.

One way to reduce stress during the holidays is to delegate tasks and responsibilities. This can be as simple as asking a family member to help with cooking or assigning tasks to different people when hosting a holiday party. It’s okay to ask for help and share the workload, especially during a busy time of year.

It’s also important to practice good communication during the holidays. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed out, don’t be afraid to talk about it with a friend or family member. They may be able to offer support or suggestions for ways to manage your stress.

If you’re feeling particularly overwhelmed, it may be helpful to seek the guidance of a mental health professional. As a psychotherapist, I help my clients develop healthy coping strategies and provide support during stressful times.

Another way to manage stress during the holidays is to make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation. This could be spending time with loved ones, participating in your favorite hobbies, listening to music, or simply taking a walk in nature. It’s important to prioritize activities that help you feel grounded and calm.

Finally, it’s important to remember that it’s okay to take a break from the holiday hustle and bustle. It’s okay to say no to a party or event if you need to, and it’s okay to spend some time alone if that’s what you need. Say yes to you! Taking care of yourself is crucial to managing stress during the holidays.

So remember, managing stress during the holidays is all about setting realistic expectations.

  • Practice Self-care
  • Delegate Tasks
  • Communicate Effectively
  • Seek Support if Needed
  • Make Time for Activities that Bring Joy and Relaxation

If you’re feeling overwhelmed this holiday season, try these tips to help you experience less stress and more comfort and joy at this time of year.